Cast of characters

(in order of appearance)

KING ARTHUR: Graham Chapman
PATSY: Terry Gilliam
SOLDIER #1: Michael Palin
SOLDIER #2: John Cleese
CART MASTER: Eric Idle
CUSTOMER: John Cleese
DEAD PERSON: John Young
DENNIS: Michael Palin
WOMAN: Terry Jones
BLACK KNIGHT: John Cleese
GREEN KNIGHT: Terry Gilliam
LEAD MONK: Neil Innes
VILLAGER #1: Eric Idle
VILLAGER #2: Michael Palin
SIR BEDEVERE: Terry Jones
WITCH: Connie Booth
VILLAGER #3: John Cleese
VILLAGER #4: Neil Innes
NARRATOR: Michael Palin
PAGE TURNER: Maggie Gilliam
SIR LAUNCELOT: John Cleese
SIR GALAHAD: Michael Palin
SIR ROBIN: Eric Idle
SIR NOT-APPEARING-IN-THIS-FILM: Tom Palin
PRISONER: Mark Zycon
MAN: Neil Innes
GOD: Graham Chapman
FRENCH GUARD: John Cleese
HISTORIAN: John Young
KNIGHT: John Cleese
HISTORIAN'S WIFE: Rita Davies
MINSTREL: Neil Innes
LEFT HEAD: Terry Jones
MIDDLE HEAD: Graham Chapman
RIGHT HEAD: Michael Palin
ZOOT: Carol Cleveland
PIGLET: Avril Stewart
WINSTON: Sally Kinghorn
DINGO: Carol Cleveland
OLD MAN/BRIDGEKEEPER: Terry Gilliam
TIM THE ENCHANTER: John Cleese
HEAD KNIGHT OF NI: Michael Palin
CARTOON CHARACTER: Terry Jones
FATHER: Michael Palin
PRINCE HERBERT: Terry Jones
GUARD #1: Eric Idle
GUARD #2: Graham Chapman
CONCORDE: Eric Idle
GUEST #1: Michael Palin
GUEST #2: Michael Palin
OLD CRONE: Bee Duffell
ROGER THE SHRUBBER: Eric Idle
OFFICER #1: Julian Doyle
INSPECTOR: Roy Smith
RABBIT OF CAERBANNOG: himself
BROTHER MAYNARD: Eric Idle
SECOND BROTHER: Michael Palin
ANIMATOR: Terry Gilliam

Arthur Arthur talking to Dennis

Patsy and Arthur watching the Black Night fight

Arthur talking to the Black Knight

Scene 1

'A swallow carrying a coconut?'

[opening music]; [wind]; [clop clop clop]
KING ARTHUR:: Whoa there!; [clop clop clop]
SOLDIER #1:: Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR:: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
SOLDIER #1:: Pull the other one!
ARTHUR:: I am,... and this is my trusty servant Patsy.; We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
SOLDIER #1:: What? Ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR:: Yes!
SOLDIER #1:: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR:: What?
SOLDIER #1:: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
ARTHUR:: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--
SOLDIER #1:: Where'd you get the coconuts?
ARTHUR:: We found them.
SOLDIER #1:: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR:: What do you mean?
SOLDIER #1:: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR:: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
SOLDIER #1:: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR:: Not at all. They could be carried.
SOLDIER #1:: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR:: It could grip it by the husk!
SOLDIER #1:: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
ARTHUR:: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
SOLDIER #1:: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
ARTHUR:: Please!
SOLDIER #1:: Am I right?
ARTHUR:: I'm not interested!
SOLDIER #2:: It could be carried by an African swallow!
SOLDIER #1:: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
SOLDIER #2:: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
ARTHUR:: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
SOLDIER #1:: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
SOLDIER #2:: Oh, yeah.
SOLDIER #1:: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.; [clop clop clop]
SOLDIER #2:: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
SOLDIER #1:: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
SOLDIER #2:: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
SOLDIER #1:: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
SOLDIER #2:: Well, why not?